Funny Quotes

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Be kind to everybody. You never know who might show up on the jury at your trial.

Why do we judge ourselves by our best intentions and others by their worst faults?

If there’s anything small, shallow, arrogant, or ugly about a person – giving him authority will bring it out.

It is what you do when you have nothing to do that reveals what you are.

A conceited person never gets anywhere because he thinks he is already there.

It's That Time of Year

So Memorial Day is upon us - that means it's time for our yearly camping trip (I would like to go more often than that, but these people I hang out with can't get their shit together).

Last year we went to the Suawannee River, and it looks like that's where we will be going again this year. I would love to go to Ginnie Springs (like we did two years ago), but they are so damn expensive and the Suwannee is free).

Hopefully this year, BF's boss won't drive his ass into the bottom of the river and hurt himself (we were jumping off a rope swing) and I won't be trying it this time to avoid doing a face plant in the dirt (I don't have very strong arms).

Here's to no rain for the weekend!

American Idol Five

YAY! It's over! Congrats to Taylor - you were one of my favorites from the beginning but I'll have to admit I never thought you'd make it this far. Oh yeah, and kudos on the harmonica last night - that is one of my favorite things about you.

I really enjoyed the show and all the guest stars/singing montages - one of the best finales I've seen. Carrie Underwood is my favorite idol - her voice is beautiful.

I'll bet you guys are glad it's over so you don't have to read about it anymore though! Till next season.....

I Don't Need a Man

Well my day started out great. I went out this morning to get some CD's out of my car and noticed it was leaning funny. Well sure enough, my rear passenger tire is flat as a pancake. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am fiercely independent so I make sure I know how to take care of things like this. I *know* how to change a tire - I've just never done it before. And boy howdy, was today a good day to find out.

First of all - it was 83 degrees out this morning at 8am. That is f-ing hot; especially to be changing a tire in. So I get started - first I have to take the speaker box out of my trunk. God Damn them things are heavy! So I get that out and have to carry it across the parking lot into my apartment. Then I pull back the carpet and the cardboard "floor" to get to my spare tire. No big deal, I just have to loosen the bolts holding the tire in and pull it out.

WRONG~! I get the bolt out and I can't get the tire out. So I'm thinking there must be some trick to this that I don't know about and proceed to call BF to ask (remember he's a mechanic). So he tells me I must be out of my mind, if I don't see anymore bolts - then it should come out. Well now I notice that I don't see a jack either. OH GREAT I'M SCREWED NOW! So I call my mom and leave a message for her at work (she's already on her way there at this point) thinking she can stop by and drop off her jack to me and I can at least take the tire off and take it somewhere to get it patched. In the meantime, I decide to keep playing around with the tire to see if I can get it out.

Well it's a good thing mother doesn't always check her messages right away, 'cause after about 10 minutes of pulling on it, I pop it loose. I am thinking no one's ever had a flat tire in my car 'cause the thing was rusted to the bottom of my trunk. So I call BF back to see if he thinks it will be safe to put on the car like that. Well the boss answers (who is also a good friend of ours) and rather than have him hunt down BF again I just ask him, "so, did he tell you what is going on down here this morning?" and he says, "Yea. He told me you have a flat tire and you need a man." I think they are all getting amusement out of this. So I'm like, "Dude, whatever. Will this tire be safe to put on my car or what?" and he says, "Does it have air in it?" YES - so it will be alright. Good.

Well at this point, I still have not found the jack, but I figure someone somewhere in the complex will have one and offer it, so I keep going. Well folks, let me tell you. Breaking lug nuts loose is HARD WORK. After about 10 or 15 minutes of jumping up and down on the lug nut wrench thingy - I finally get them all loose. Well, now I'm ready to jack up the car, but I still have no jack. So I go back to the trunk, and right away notice another cardboard covered hole which contains.....you guessed it - the jack. YAY! But guess what - it's all rusty too. So after I finally work loose the bolt holding it in the trunk - I end up having to stand on either side of it and hold it down with my feet while I strain to turn the little crank thing and lift it up.

And can I tell you - I was sweating like a PIG the entire time. I had sweat pouring down into my glasses, so I couldn't really see anything. Sweat running down my face and my back, and on top of all this - I am now covered head to toe in dirty, greasy mess. And during all this - about three of the maintenance men rode by on their little golf carts and NOT ONE stopped to see if I wanted/needed help.

So anyway - about 10-15 minutes later, I finally get the car jacked up and the tire off. I put the donut on, tightened it, and let the car down. Then I ran in the house and took a shower. But, before I did that - I made sure to call back BF and his boss and let them know that I am the woman and I don't need a man to change my tire!

Well it turned out there was a large nail right dead center in the middle of the tire and they were able to patch it - which is good to me 'cause those tires are brand new. Made it to work about 10 till 11....

Weekend Festivities

So........Saturday night we had a mini "keg party". We got a big smoker (you know, one of those ones you pull behind the truck) and we cooked two boston butts and a whole shitload of leg quarters......yummy! My brother and his girlfriend came up and hung out with us, as well as some of BF's friends. I almost rolled the go kart - I was doing donuts in the side yard and I felt two of the wheels come off the ground.

I finally shot the shotgun again.....don't know if I ever mentioned this or not, but the first time I shot it, it kicked me hard 'cause I didn't have it tucked in all the way so I have thus far refused to shoot it again. Well they were all shooting clays in the backyard and I decided I wanted to try it, so I did. Not so bad when you hold it right! Got my bro and his girlfriend to try it to, it was pretty funny.

Sunday we had to get up pretty early 'cause we have family visiting from Indiana - so I drove three hours home from Gainesville and then drove another hour down to their condo on Sarasota beach (which is probably the most beautiful beach in Florida) where we hung out by the pool and went swimming - didn't get home until 11pm last night and geez louise am I tired today.

So tonight is study - then go to bed early.....YAY!

Famous Quote

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)

HI

A big howdy to all from Roger's Tire in Alachua.....ha ha ha....BF is doing some work on my car today - yes I am playing hookey - got here about 8:15 this morning. So we're doing my front brakes (right now he is turning the rotors), and putting on a new timing belt. FUN FUN FUN.....hey - you all should give my BF a hard time since the shop he works at has internet but he doesn't.....what a bunch of crap I say!!!!

So they are closed today 'cause the boss is out of town. You would not believe all the people who show up here when they are closed. We are trying to be vewy, vewy quiet, lol. Anyway, I already got all dirty (you can't take me anywhere) and washed my hands once so I am trying to stay out of the shop now. Good thing I have something else to do now!!!!

Well - I guess I better take off - have a great weekend ya'll!

But Mom, All the Cool Kids Were Doing It......

So I decided to make a change to the template - I've been contemplating it for a while 'cause I wanted something that I could design a cool title graphic for....and since all the cool kids were doing it, I decided it was time for me to do it too. What can I say - I'm a follower; not a leader.

:)

American Idol Five

So I just found out that Chris was offered the lead singer position for Fuel - I am very happy about that, it looks like getting booted off worked to his advantage - hopefully he doesn't turn them down - I like Fuel.

So after last night I think it will be Katherine and Taylor in the final two. I'm not sure why the judges were so hard on Kat last night - I enjoyed all her performances - however - Somewhere Over the Rainbow had me literally tearing up - it was BEAUTIFUL.

Can't wait until next week to see who the top two are!

Feeling Better

Ok - so I'm back from Gainesville (again) and feeling better. Not fully able to get the snot factory calmed down, but I think that has something to do with summer allergies....I'll have to get me some Claritin - stat.

So anyway - the tile people did the rest of the house this weekend (YAY! No more getting up at 7am all weekend!!!!) So since we had to be out of the house all day Saturday and it was beautiful out....we dragged out some camp chairs and a cooler full of beer and rum and hung out in the yard all day. You'll be glad to know I am now officially a redneck - I learned how to drive the riding lawn mower this weekend and mowed all 2 acres (got myself some sun too). Red headed bro decided that he was going to practice his "pit moves" on me (so he says.....) by ramming me with the go kart whilst I was mowing.....he snuck up on me one time (that mower is loud!) and scared the be-jesus out of me. I screamed so loud, the tile guys heard me in the house and were laughing their asses off.....it was all in fun though.

Sunday we spent the day hanging out with the red-headed mom. We spent a great deal of time actually looking through old photo's from when the red-headed brother's were small....they were sooooooo cute.....I wonder what happened?! Just kidding guys, you're both adorable.

After that we went back to the house and put all the furniture back in. There is supposed to be people coming some time this week to put up the new baseboards so hopefully we won't have any more hectic weekends after this one....yay! Oh yea, we also harvested some veggies from the garden - green beans (which I haven't tried yet), squash, radishes, and sweet peppers. Why is it that home grown veggies taste so much better than what you get from the store?

Anyway - summer classes start this week - my first class is tomorrow - Principles of Management. Our entire grade is based on three tests....should be fun.

So, that's all for now.

American Idol Five

Ok so I'm pissed off at you America. Yea sure, Chris will probably still get a record contract, but he sooooooo deserved to win and you all know it. I think even Katherine was surprised that it was Chris and not her.

YOU SUCK!

Quote for the Day

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

Down With The Sickness

Ha - only a Disturbed fan would get that reference.

Anyway - I'm still feeling pretty shitty. I left early on Monday, stayed home yesterday, and went back to work today only to be told I sound like shit. NO DUH. If I didn't have stuff I had to get done, I would not have gone in. Needless to say, I haven't read any blogs since Monday so I'm a little behind. I did manage to get everything I needed done at work today.

Summer classes start next week (BTW - ended up with a B+ in the A class - guess I didn't study hard enough. Only missed it by 1 point but he wouldn't give me the A - bastard. So now my overall GPA is 3.49). Guess I gotta go ahead and fork out some money.....they finally posted final grades today so tomorrow I can turn them in and hopefully get my tuition reimbursement check on Monday.

Right now I'm going to go lay down - hopefully I'll have something more important to post tomorrow.

I'm Back

But I feel like ass. Details from this weekend:

Old people suck - Friday night was very boring, everybody was in bed by 10 so we had to go to bed too.....

BF's landlord is having the house tiled - the guys were there at 8am Saturday morning to start tiling - I guess it's a good thing we weren't up late Friday night.....the two red headed brothers got up early to move everything out of the bedrooms so they could do the back half of the house - all three bedrooms and one of the bathrooms. So since everything was piled up in the living room and the house was hot (all doors and windows were open) we went out with the landlord (who is the next door neighbor) on the boat. I believe it was the Suwannee river but I can't say for sure. All I know is it was hot, the water was cold, and the rum tasted good. Needless to say when a bunch of rednecks go out on the river in boats, they tend to haul ass, thus creating choppy waters. Boy does my ass HURT from bouncing in the boat. Stayed out for a few (four) hours, got a red neck (literally) then went to his bosses house for a "Kentucky Derby" party.
His wife and daughter are way into horses and I guess his daughter is leaving for Michigan on Friday so it was kind of a combo going away party.

Sunday we went out to the gun range (YEA!). I got to shoot the AR15 - damn I'm in love with that gun.....I wouldn't expect it, but there is no recoil at all....bunches of fun to shoot, but only put about 5 rounds through it - definitely have to shoot that one some more. Put about 30 rounds through the SKS, and about 50 or so in the Ruger. I also shot two rounds through the .308, and at 200 yards I was about an inch and a half off the bullseye! But I have to say the hi-light of the day was the clip I emptied in the M1A (no, I don't know how many rounds it was). That gun is unbelievably heavy but amazingly easy to shoot. I tore the center out of the target at about 75 yards.

When we got home, the tilers had finished grouting, so we (I) spent the afternoon (after my nap that is) mopping. Don't worry, it was by choice. BF started mopping and at the rate he was going we would have never had time to put the furniture back in so I took over. After going over it about four times, we put all the furniture back in his room. I think his bro was taking it easy Sunday cause his stuff is still all in the kitchen/dining room. Got up at four this morning and drove the three hours home.

Started feeling like crap around 9:30 or so - my sinuses are burning, I can't stop sneezing, and my throat really hurts. I feel hot, but I don't have a fever. I'm not sure if it's all the dust from the floor yesterday or what, but it really sucks. So now, I'm going to go lay down and hopefully I'll feel better when I get up.

Oh yea, and we have beans, radishes, and pretty soon squash.

Weekend Festivities

So I'm getting ready to head off to Gainesville for the weekend. BF's landlord has decided it's a good time to start tiling the floors, so we'll be out of the house all day Saturday while they start on the bedrooms and the hallway out to the living room....

May possibly take a boat ride down the Santa Fe, I don't think it's been written in stone yet though. And.....his bosses daughter is way into horses and is moving to Michigan for some kind of horse thing - so we'll be having a barbecue at his house this weekend for her "send off."

The other red headed brother has promised me an exclusive on some of his new music this weekend - he wrote some songs which he plays/sings on the guitar. I'm thinking campfire and beer/alcohol for this unless it's too hot - we'll see....I'm excited anyway cause he's pretty good. Maybe I can talk him into teaching me a few chords.....

Any who - I guess we'll be seeing ya'll on Monday!

Bouncy, Bouncy

So here's my nephew, is he a cutie pie or what???



I'm actually a bad aunt - this pic is probably a year old and I keep forgetting to take my camera over to mom's with me so I can get more recent pictures.

Anyway - so I usually go over to my mom's on Thursday's to do laundry (it's an excuse to go see everybody). Last night I get there, and bro says, "just warning you now, everybody over here is sick." YEAH! Just what I wanted! But with a 2yr old in the house, it happens more often than naught. So finally, Jr. hears me and comes running out, "Carmen, You're Home!" For some reason this is what he says to me every time I come over even though I don't live there - ya gotta love him. So I go put my laundry in the washer and proceed to heat up my dinner. Of course he sees me and starts yelling, "Papa, wanna EAT!" and he's running around in circles in the kitchen going "wanna EAT, wanna EAT" so I'm like, how bout you come sit in your chair, that way you're ready to eat when your food is ready. He's gotten to that stage now where he likes to do stuff himself ya know. So he pulls the chair out (which is almost twice as tall as he is) and climbs up in his seat, and buckles his belt. Then the kid proceeds to push his own chair in by scooting it inches at a time. I tell ya, it's a good thing mom put those felt pads on the chair feet, otherwise the wood floor would be scratched all to hell. Then he's mad cause papa won't let him blow on his own food "HOT Papa, gotta blow!" He also turned into a little parrot - he likes to repeat everything everyone says - so papa and I are trying to have a conversation and he's repeating both sides the whole time we're eating - just priceless.

Well so later on, mom comes home and of course it's "Mema! You're Home!" and immediately they have to play. Well mom and I were trying to find flights to O'Hare at one point (after they made a mess with the PlayDoh) and he's getting mad cause she's ignoring him. So he climbs up on her lap and starts bouncing around. Well he's bouncing right on her boob and she's going "ow, you're hurting grandma - why are you bouncing" or something like that - and he says to her "boys gotta bounce Mema." WOW!!! This kid just cracks me up!! Then they start playing this weird variation of the bouncing game - I guess mom got tired of her boob being bounced - it goes like this: Grandma picks him up and says "who loves you baby" and he goes "Love You Mema~" and then he gets bounced onto the couch. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, btw.

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I never thought I wanted to have kids - until my nephew was born. This child just amazes me every day with the things he does and says, and it's awesome, seeing his face when he figures something out, or learns a new word, or does something funny (he likes to walk around telling everyone he's funny). BF and I have decided we're going to get married (for those of you who don't know) and probably that's one of the first things we'll do (he wants them worse than I do) - so look out world cause our kids are going to be nuts!

Quote for the Day

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)



Ain't that the truth!

Doh!

So, I seem to have a hard time coming up with anything interesting to post. Yea, I do the cute quotes, and the dumb American Idol assessments, and the funny emails - and every now and then I find it in me to share my grades in school and bitch about my ex and the ongoing house saga. When I started this blog though, my intent was to actually post things of some substance every now and then. Well truth be told, I intended for it to be more often than naught.

But for some reason, I just can't seem to do it. Some of my favorites out there can take any old thing, and turn it into an awesome story and it just cracks me up. Sure, I have ideas. I'll see something and think - hey, I bet I could write something cool about that - and then either I get distracted (maybe I have ADD) or I just don't have time at that moment to put the effort into actually sitting down and writing something witty and intelligent.

Hey, check it out - I've managed to ramble on about nothing for two whole paragraphs. I wonder how long I can keep this up?? So in the spirit of tradition here's the latest update on my life.... Seriously folks - any ideas? I know I have the ability to put fingers to keyboard and most of the time with little effort come up with something decent (when it comes to school work that is) so it's not that I lack the intelligence.....

I have tons and tons of stories about my nephew (he's 2 1/2) - he is just the cutest thing on the planet. I could probably bore you all day. For instance - he just recently learned how to tell which car is mine, and how to say my name. So every time they come home and I'm here, I can hear him all the way up the driveway going "Carmen's car, Carmen's car, and then when he comes inside he says CARMEN! YOU'RE HOME!!! Before that, he used to always call me "him". Don't ask me where he got that from, but it's the funniest thing ever. Right now we're actually trying to teach him that his name is not "boy". He'll go all the way around the room and tell you everyone's name, but when you ask him what his name is, he yells, BOY! And we have to tell him, no you're name is "C" and the way it comes out is just to die for it's so cute.

So I'll have to post some pics of him later so you can see just how adorable he is (right now I'm at Mom's doing laundry so I don't have any with me).

Maybe I'll read something later and be inspired to post something else - until then, it's time to go play crash the cars!

Famous Quote

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

William G. McAdoo (1863 - 1941)




No wonder I'm having such a hard time with my ex...........

Hmmmmmm

Guess what happens when you post something about Livestock? Within one day I get hit with a search for naked chicks.

I also recently got hit with a search for "funny whales", and "dirty words, alcohol and memory Two-way ANOVA"

I just gotta wonder what the heck these people were looking for?

Livestock 15

Well, all I can say at this point is WOW, and I think I'm still drunk.....

I saw sooooo many nasty naked chicks I think I'll puke now.....

Rob Zombie ROCKS....

Red Headed Bro and the blow up doll were a big hit with the ladies......(the blow up doll was a big hit with the guys too).......

I wish I had a camcorder and not just a camera.....

Maybe more later.

Quote for the Day

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)