Another Funny

Got this via e-mail from bro's GF.....

Bullfrogs & Blowjobs

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!"

"Blowjobs!" the woman replied.
"It hasn't been proven but we have sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true. .. no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone!!!

I knew there was a reason I hate the Gators.....

So I got accepted to UF......The only problem is none of my upper level accounting classes I have already completed are transferable.....

WTF!?!

I thought all Florida Universities followed a similar class plan? I already have 21 credits completed, there's no way I'm starting over, and no way I'm changing my major. So I have an appointment with a counselor next Wednesday to see if I have any other options. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise....I never really wanted to go to UF anyway (since I'm a Noles fan). I guess UCF here I come. Too bad you're all the way in Ocala - 45 minutes each way. I guess my only option is to find a job down there too so I'll be in the area when class starts.

BOO GATORS!

Oh So Funny!

I almost peed myself when I read this e-mail from Bro's GF:

A Housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.


Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go
outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says,"$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That
is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy
sit in the confession booth and closes the door.


The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

YAY!!!!!!!

My dress came, my dress came! HOORAY!

My Personality?

Since I've seen this several places and am in need of content, here you go:

There are 18 letters in your name.Those 18 letters total to 78There are 7 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 6
The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.
The expression or destiny for #6:The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.
The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.
If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.
Your Soul Urge number is: 1
A Soul Urge number of 1 means: Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.
The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.
The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.
Your Inner Dream number is: 5
An Inner Dream number of 5 means: You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.

hmmmmmmmmm.......

Here I come to wreck your day....

So I'm still here.....been very busy. Last weekend I got most of my boxes unpacked....YAY! I've applied for several jobs - an actually got a call about one the other day. They were following up for additional information from interesting candidates. I was told she would be giving it all to the controller so she could decide who she wants to interview. Been sick - nephew had a sinus infection that he shared with the whole house.....isn't he sweet?!?

They threw a shower/going away party for me at work last Friday. Was pretty fun - they surprised me by inviting BF - who drove three hours down to spend an hour at my party and then turn around and drive three hours back home - and he brought flowers. Isn't he sweet too?!? So they had a pinata (sp?) filled with $210 one dollar bills. The idea was they were supposed to shower over me when it broke. But for some reason, they tied it to the fire sprinklers so the maintenance guy wouldn't let me finish busting it (darn! I really wanted to...NOT). I asked if I could just shoot it, but they wouldn't let me ;) The lady at the bank looked at me very funny when I brought them in and asked to deposit them.....I wonder why?

Also bought BF's ring today - he is going to love it. I promise once he's seen it I'll post a pic, but it's still a surprise so you have to wait, sorry. The other day I bought 36 calla lillies and 4 hydrangea bushes for $23!!!! At this rate we'll have really cheap boquets. I still haven't found any purple roses I like though. I heard there's a silk flower outlet in Tampa though, so I'm going to go look for it.

Ta for now!

Oh yea....

Two things I forgot to mention.....

We found (and purchased) a flower girl dress on Saturday....



It's very similar to my dress except for the spaghetti straps.

AND - we went to see Brad Paisley Saturday night. It was pretty good, just not as good as some of the other's we've been to. Next up is Toby Keith.

:)

All is Well.....for now anyway

So I went yesterday for my "freezing" procedure. It went well except for the part where I almost passed out on the way out to the car (they didn't expect that to happen). I had to sit there with the air running for half an hour before I was able to drive home. Napped for a while when I got there and now am good as new. They want to see me again in two weeks to make sure they got everything.

All Hail the Internet Genius

If you are reading this post, it's because the resident internet genius has FIXED the computer. You may clap, hoot, holler, whistle, and praise me as much as you want.

Thank you, that is all.

Aunt Tammi will be soooooo jealous.....

Guess where I am going Saturday, August 19, at 7:30 PM?????

Does this help?

How about this?



Neener, neener, neener.....

Still no internet

So I still haven't fixed mom's computer at home. I am thinking tonight I will try and repair/re-install windows....I am almost positive her problem has to do with corrupted files. So.....posting will continue to be sporadic for a while.

Health News Update

So the nurse called this morning - they decided they didn't need to do the LEEP procedure, they are going to freeze my uterus and then scrape the cells off. Good for me 'cause it doesn't require any numbing or anything. I'm going next Monday. Then check-up's every four months for a year to make sure everything is okay before they let me go back to once yearly exams. Not sure how this is going to work since I'm going to be losing my health care coverage when I leave this job.

I have two prospects through friends of his....one's father own's a construction company and one's wife works at a title company, both are looking for accounting people. If I can get in at one of these places I won't have to go very long without coverage, but I wonder if the new insurance will still pay for the extra exams if I go without coverage in between. Does anyone know anything about this? I don't want to have to go on COBRA - I heard it's really expensive.

Posting will probably be light - at least until this weekend as mom's computer is on the fritz. I think she has some corrupted files in internet explorer but I'm not sure. I looked last night at the window's cd to see if I could just re-install IE but I wasn't able to find anything....I may have to re-install windows - I can't even get a site to come up long enough to download a different browser and test it. I wonder if I can download on my bro's computer and then burn to a cd and use that to install on mom's.....

So since mom's computer was down - we missed the auction for the flower girl dress. Guess we're still looking....maybe she can come up this weekend to go shopping again. Also going to Brad Paisley this weekend if my tickets ever arrive - I think they're in forwarding limbo.....

Well that's it for now.