You Have GOT to be Kidding Me

Srsly - this was a question on my final exam - GOD SAVE US FROM THE LIBERAL WACK JOBS!


The year is 2012. The drought in Florida, because of global
warming, has gotten worse. The aquifer is showing alarming signs of depletion.
Similar crises loom elsewhere in the country. President Obama has set Vice
President Jeb Bush (!) on the task of coming up with ways of avoiding
disaster. Jeb’s plan for Florida involves a total ban
on any new lawns. All new developments may use only native, drought-tolerant
plants, (a practice known as xerascaping). Residents with existing lawns face
the prospect of being able to water 2x a week for just 4 years, after that,
just 1x per week for 2 years, and after that must abandon their expanses of
lawn entirely. (replacing them with xerascaping if they choose) A group called
“Water Rights” has formed in the Villages, and is arguing that as Floridians
and American citizens, they have a right to have traditional lawns, and to
water them sufficiently to keep them healthy and green. They point out that
existing lawns represent a substantial invertment of money, and that many
people have incurred the additional expense of putting in their own wells
which are also going to be restricted if the law passes. The issue is being
debated hotly and not always rationally all around the state. Even churches
are getting involved. Assume that you are a member of the curia of the diocese
of at Augustine, and you have been asked to prepare recommendations for your
Bishop on the position the church should take on this issue. What is you
position? (Not very important.) And WHY do you hold that position-- What is
your reasoning. (VERY important).

In all honesty, it took all I had not to write this as my answer:

Dear instructor,

Not only is global warming a farce made up by Man Bear Pig (Al Gore for those of you who don't watch South Park) but I find it truly offensive that you dare to put "President Obama" in print, let alone you would seriously suggest that Jeb Bush would be his Vice President. I totally resent the fact that this question even exists and refuse to answer on principle.

Thank You - Concerned Student