For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.

2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.

3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.

4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't Familiar Territory.

5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.

6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.

7. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.

8. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.

9. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.

10. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.

11. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

12. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture Some People Have.

13. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.

14. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.

15. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be A Great Trade!

16. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.

17. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis? Raise My Hand.

18. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.

19. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're In The Wrong Lane.

20. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.

21. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering What Happened.