Tuesday, April 04, 2006

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast....

Seemed I had some weird IE problem yesterday so I could not get online from the house - thus the lack of posting the thought for the day until the afternoon.

On a serious note - when I started this blog, I intended for it to be funny, but I also intended it to be serious every now and then as well. So far, the only serious entry I've done is
this one. And that didn't even touch what I really feel about that time period in my life both then and now. For some reason, even though I can't see any of your faces, and the only person I've actually met (besides Aunt Tammi) is T1G, I still find it hard to share some aspects of my life. And I know mostly the reason behind that is fear - which is absolutely ridiculous. No offense - but why should I care what any of you think when the chances are I'll never even meet you face to face? I never used to care what other people thought of me (but then I was still in H.S. at that point in my life) so I wonder - what changed that?

What I have noticed, is that ever since I have been with the new BF, I can see parts of my old self coming out that I haven't seen in a while - and that both scares me and makes me really happy at the same time. Don't know if it's a coincidence (I was seeing a counselor as well at the time we started dating) or what but for the first time in my life, I really feel like I'm in a good, healthy relationship and I just want to grab a hold of it and not let go. For some reason, even though I recently ended a rather bad relationship - I'm not scared. I don't know - does that seem normal?

Anyway - my point is - I can slowly see the fear going away. So maybe I can post some things I didn't think I could. Like this.