I Don't Need a Man

Well my day started out great. I went out this morning to get some CD's out of my car and noticed it was leaning funny. Well sure enough, my rear passenger tire is flat as a pancake. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am fiercely independent so I make sure I know how to take care of things like this. I *know* how to change a tire - I've just never done it before. And boy howdy, was today a good day to find out.

First of all - it was 83 degrees out this morning at 8am. That is f-ing hot; especially to be changing a tire in. So I get started - first I have to take the speaker box out of my trunk. God Damn them things are heavy! So I get that out and have to carry it across the parking lot into my apartment. Then I pull back the carpet and the cardboard "floor" to get to my spare tire. No big deal, I just have to loosen the bolts holding the tire in and pull it out.

WRONG~! I get the bolt out and I can't get the tire out. So I'm thinking there must be some trick to this that I don't know about and proceed to call BF to ask (remember he's a mechanic). So he tells me I must be out of my mind, if I don't see anymore bolts - then it should come out. Well now I notice that I don't see a jack either. OH GREAT I'M SCREWED NOW! So I call my mom and leave a message for her at work (she's already on her way there at this point) thinking she can stop by and drop off her jack to me and I can at least take the tire off and take it somewhere to get it patched. In the meantime, I decide to keep playing around with the tire to see if I can get it out.

Well it's a good thing mother doesn't always check her messages right away, 'cause after about 10 minutes of pulling on it, I pop it loose. I am thinking no one's ever had a flat tire in my car 'cause the thing was rusted to the bottom of my trunk. So I call BF back to see if he thinks it will be safe to put on the car like that. Well the boss answers (who is also a good friend of ours) and rather than have him hunt down BF again I just ask him, "so, did he tell you what is going on down here this morning?" and he says, "Yea. He told me you have a flat tire and you need a man." I think they are all getting amusement out of this. So I'm like, "Dude, whatever. Will this tire be safe to put on my car or what?" and he says, "Does it have air in it?" YES - so it will be alright. Good.

Well at this point, I still have not found the jack, but I figure someone somewhere in the complex will have one and offer it, so I keep going. Well folks, let me tell you. Breaking lug nuts loose is HARD WORK. After about 10 or 15 minutes of jumping up and down on the lug nut wrench thingy - I finally get them all loose. Well, now I'm ready to jack up the car, but I still have no jack. So I go back to the trunk, and right away notice another cardboard covered hole which contains.....you guessed it - the jack. YAY! But guess what - it's all rusty too. So after I finally work loose the bolt holding it in the trunk - I end up having to stand on either side of it and hold it down with my feet while I strain to turn the little crank thing and lift it up.

And can I tell you - I was sweating like a PIG the entire time. I had sweat pouring down into my glasses, so I couldn't really see anything. Sweat running down my face and my back, and on top of all this - I am now covered head to toe in dirty, greasy mess. And during all this - about three of the maintenance men rode by on their little golf carts and NOT ONE stopped to see if I wanted/needed help.

So anyway - about 10-15 minutes later, I finally get the car jacked up and the tire off. I put the donut on, tightened it, and let the car down. Then I ran in the house and took a shower. But, before I did that - I made sure to call back BF and his boss and let them know that I am the woman and I don't need a man to change my tire!

Well it turned out there was a large nail right dead center in the middle of the tire and they were able to patch it - which is good to me 'cause those tires are brand new. Made it to work about 10 till 11....